Last December, I decided to memorize the book of James.
I’m not a goal-oriented person. I don’t like setting expectations for myself. New Year’s resolutions are not something I make or stick to. I have never chosen a “word of the year,” and I get anxious just thinking about those yearly planners that encourage you to make weekly, monthly, and annual goals. I live my life by deadlines and daily disciplines, but that is the extent of any kind of expectant living. To spend a year memorizing a book of the Bible is well outside my realm of thinking, but to be honest—desperation got me there.
Last year the Lord began to chip away at an area of sin in my life I felt powerless to overcome. As I struggled with how to fight my sin, I searched Scripture for whatever it was I seemed to be missing. I knew that fighting sin involved more than just not sinning, but I couldn’t seem to make the connection between avoiding sin and living in victory over it.
One day, I read Psalm 119 and stopped at verse 11, which says, “I have stored up Your word in my heart, that I might not sin against You.” I memorized this verse as a child when my church had a program for kids called ‘’Bible Drill” that involved a lot of Scripture memorization and recitation. All along, the answer to my question about fighting sin had been sitting in the recesses of my mind and heart. We don’t fight sin simply by trying hard not to sin. We fight sin by storing up Scripture in our hearts, pouring something in rather than just trying to empty out. Any not just anything, but the best thing.
Storing up Scripture in our hearts is sort of like building an arsenal to defend yourself in war. But it’s more than that. Storing up Scripture in your heart will, over time, change the way you think. It will shape your thoughts, kindle your affections for Christ, and sift your desires. Fighting sin is best done not just by looking away from sin but by also looking towards Jesus. An abiding affection for Christ will aid you in killing sin like nothing else. I have learned in 2020 that nothing has equipped me more for the fight against sin than memorizing Scripture.
I chose James last December because I had studied it a few times in the preceding years. I was somewhat familiar with its structure, and I wasn’t (too) overwhelmed by its length. I figured I could take all the time I needed. This wasn’t a race. It was a fight.
I typed out James 1, printed a few copies, and put them in places I would be sure to see often. I slipped one copy into a Ziploc bag and taped it to my shower wall. I put another copy in a frame and set it on the windowsill above the kitchen sink where I wash dishes a few times a day. I downloaded the Dwell Bible app and listened to James 1 over and over again. By the end of the first month, I had most of chapter 1 memorized.
Two months into my memorization challenge, the world was gripped by a pandemic. I don’t need to unravel the events of 2020 again for you. We all know how challenging and surprising this year has been. Like a lot of you, I felt like “my sin was ever before me” (Psalm 51:3). Stuck at home for months, I saw my irritations, impatience, and anger up close, and I had to fight them with vigilance. The Lord had given me exactly what I needed for this fight, though. Each day I worked through a verse from James, and slowly, quietly, ordinarily, and miraculously, my life changed. Not my circumstances, but me. He was changing me. Storing up His words little by little had a cumulative effect. Day by day, word by word, verse by verse, chapter by chapter, Jesus loomed larger in my thoughts and affections than He ever had. And my quickness to anger, my desire to be right, my inclination towards impatience—it all began to shrink. Slowly. Reluctantly. But undeniably. The Lord began to change me.
___________________
It’s December again, and I’m down to the final couple of verses in chapter five. I have always been intimidated by Scripture memory. I didn’t think I would be good at it. I felt certain I didn’t have what it took and therefore might be exempt from the biblical exhortations to hide God’s Word in my heart and to meditate on it day and night. But those exhortations aren’t there to make us feel spiritually inferior or superior to anyone who may or may not have a better mind for memorization. Those exhortations to meditate on the Word are there to give us what we need to love Christ more than we love our sin. Anyone can memorize Scripture.
My struggle with anger and impatience has not disappeared. Temptations arise every single day. I am certain I will be wrestling this sin to the ground until the day I see Jesus face-to-face and He buries it once and for all. Yet, I can look back over 2020 and see bits of growth. Scripture memorization hasn’t lessened my temptations to sin. Rather, it has made me more aware of my temptations to sin. While the awareness sometimes feels crushing, it also means I’m in this fight. Better to be fighting and feeling weak than to be oblivious to the battle at all.
I could mention all the other benefits of spending a year memorizing one book. I had long passages to recite when plagued by insomnia (which happened a lot this year). I could run through paragraphs when gripped by anxiety (which also happened a lot this year). I knew what it meant when anger sparked in my heart (James 1:19-21, James 3:1-12), what to do when I was confused (James 1:5-8, James 3:13-18), how to pray for all the sick and suffering on my prayer list (James 1:2-4, James 1:12, James 5:7-11, James 5:13-18). I learned that the allure of the world and the comforts of wealth and leisure would rob me of intimacy with God (James 4:1-10, James 5:1-6). I learned that favoritism in the church takes many forms and is always despicable before God (James 2:1-13). I learned that blessing and suffering are two sides of the same coin (James 1:2-4) and that steadfastness matters more than we know (James 5:11).
I couldn’t keep James to myself. The words of these five chapters worked themselves into my conversations, writing, and prayer. I am finishing 2020 and the book of James overwhelmed by how the process of memorization seemed to work the words of the Lord into the cracks and crevices of my heart and mind. I’m surprised at the way my tastes have changed, how my desires for worldly things have been strangely and blessedly diluted. I feel both crushed and encouraged by how much work the Lord still has to do in my heart. I’m confident He will finish what He has started.
I won’t pick a word for 2021 or make a bunch of resolutions. I’ll buy the same minimalist weekly planner that doesn’t have any room for goal-setting. But you can be sure I will be choosing another book of the Bible to memorize. What riches I have to choose from! The Bible is the book I needed in 2020, and it will be the book I need in 2021 and in every year that follows.
One year. One book. A thousand little looks at Christ.
His Word certainly does not return void.
Photo by Natalie Grainger on Unsplash
Glenna Marshall is married to her pastor, William, and lives in rural Southeast Missouri where she tries and fails to keep up with her two energetic sons. She is the author of The Promise is His Presence (P&R) and Everyday Faithfulness (Crossway), and Memorizing Scripture (Moody). Connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.