glenna marshall

You Can Always Come Back to Church

After a four-month absence, I went back to the gym this morning.

I had a significant surgery on my hand in early December, and the recovery was slow, but truthfully? I quit going before the surgery, and I could have gone back weeks ago. I also could have made accommodations for my hand and found plenty to do that would have gotten my heartrate up and worked up a good sweat. But I didn’t because—well, I’d been gone so long that it was hard to go back.

I worked really hard for about 18 months prior to my hand surgery. I lost almost twenty pounds and built up a good deal of muscle and stamina for this mid-forties body. And then I had a surgery that put me out of the game for a couple months, and the longer I stayed away from the gym, the harder it was to go back.

I knew I’d have to face the people who are as committed to their morning workouts as I used to be. I’d have to face the staffer at the desk when she greet me by name as I scanned my card. The intrepid walkers who never miss a day will bear witness to my beginner’s workout while they circle the lofty track above the weight room. I’ll be honest—I felt embarrassed at having missed four whole months. Walking into the gym felt intimidating and a little humiliating. But, I did it because it is in the best interest of my health to get back to it.

But you know what? No one was weird. No one made me feel bad about missing four months. The desk employee was happy to see me and we chatted for a while. Mr. Ray gave me his customary fist bump. The usuals were still there sweating and moving like they always are. I doubt the walkers even noticed me. As I moved through my workout, it all began to feel normal again. Tomorrow my muscles will be sore, but it won’t be nearly so hard to go back.

church building inside

As I warmed up on the treadmill, I thought about how returning to the gym after a long absence is probably how it feels to return to church.

I confess I’ve never gone long without attending church. Being a pastor’s wife removes that possibility from my life, and I’m glad for it. The accountability of my expected presence is good for my endurance in the faith. But, as a pastor’s wife, I’ve also observed the long absences of folks from church many times. Sometimes it’s deliberate, like the absence that follows a falling out with another member or with the leadership. Other times, it’s unintentional—a prolonged illness, a long season of caregiving, a quiet disconnection. No matter the reasons, when I’ve reached out to people about returning to church, the answer is always the same: it’s so hard to come back. I think there are many possible reasons for that: the routine of worship has been lost and replaced with leisure or work, the relationships are fragile, the disconnection from the church was the result of sin which brings shame into the equation, church hurt makes coming back feel scary. Mostly, though, I think the feeling of coming back is similar to my feelings about returning to the gym. It’s embarrassing. 

Maybe the embarrassment stems from the reason someone was out of church, maybe it’s the feeling of being behind everyone else spiritually and relationally, maybe it’s fear that people are judging you. But, here’s what I want to tell you as a pastor’s wife, a church member, and someone knows more of what’s going on in the church than the average attender: you can always come back to church.

Let me rephrase that—you should always come back to church.

Any close examination of Scripture will reveal that we are not saved to live in a vacuum. No, we are saved to a family, a body, a house (see Rom. 8:14-17, Rom. 12:3-8, 1 Peter 2:4-12,). Our response to the gospel is individual in that we must personally repent and believe, but our lives as Christians are meant to be lived out in a community of faith. We don’t have to fight sin on our own, we don’t have to endure suffering on our own, we don’t have to rejoice on our own, we don’t have to persevere day after day after month after month after year after year on our own. The Lord gave us the church for mutual encouragement, for growth, teaching, service, prayer, worshiping, confession, repentance, and burden-bearing.

When you come back to church after a long absence, let me tell you how genuine Jesus-followers feel: so glad. We’re just so glad you’re back.

You can always come back to church. The bride of Christ is God’s gift to you for your faithfulness, so no matter how hard it is to return, I hope you know you’re wanted within the household of God. And it is in your best spiritual interests to submit to God’s design for growth and endurance and to link arms with your family in Christ. We don’t always get it right, and sometimes we are the reason coming to church is hard, but our obedience to God’s commands is for our good, our growth, our endurance, and God’s glory.

So while it may feel hard to come back and it might take some time to see it, God gave you the church to help you stay on the path of faithfulness. You can always come back to church.[1]

When you come back to church after a long absence, let me tell you how genuine Jesus-followers feel: so glad. We’re just so glad you’re back. Share on X

 

[1] There’s a whole host of things I could say about returning to church following church discipline, but that is not the intended scope of this post. This post is meant to encourage those who’ve not been faithful in their church involvement. If you are under discipline for lack of attendance, you must to submit to the proper steps of repentance and restoration. Even so, we always want you to come back. For more, please see: Hebrews 3:12-14, Hebrews 10:19-25, 1 Peter 2:4-12, Romans 12:3-21, and 1 Corinthians 12-14.

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

When Life is Hard, Keep Reading Your Bible

I once heard Tim Keller say that when life is particularly difficult and you’re struggling with your emotions or you don’t know how to feel about suffering, one of the most helpful things you can do is to turn to inductive Bible study.[1]

It’s interesting advice because we often feel the need to dissect our sadness, to turn it inside out in an effort to understand it. We believe that if we can just understand it, we could fix it. But life isn’t always so easily fixed. Brokenness is rarely quickly mended. Suffering is often long and draining. It’s not wrong to seek to understand our sorrows, but sometimes what we need is to turn our gaze outward. We need to look to something solid and unchanging. Someone solid and unchanging.

women reading Bible

Throughout many seasons of both physical and spiritual distress, I’ve found that regular, ordinary Bible study has been my greatest companion on the road of endurance. When I frantically spin my mental wheels trying to wrap my head around whatever trial has presented itself, the blankness in my heart and mind overwhelms me. Even recently, I sat with my closed Bible in my lap and tried to pray through some major life curveballs. After a couple of days of fruitlessly trying to understand it, I stopped. Instead of sharpening the conversations in my head that I know I’ll never have and instead of staring into space and wondering why this, why now—I finally just opened my Bible to my next chapter of study and worked through the study steps I’ve been using for fifteen years. Read, write, think, pray.

I read the text, usually more than once. I thought about the text, asking questions about the setting and context. I wrote down what I observed about the text, starting with God’s character. I prayed through the text in hopes of applying something I’d learned, which I recommend doing when you don’t know what to pray (and even when you do).

The events in the text (Isaiah 11-14 in recent weeks) were so far removed from my life that I was able to ground myself in what has been timelessly true about God’s character, His redemptive plan, and His promises that find their yes and amen in Jesus. I might have been reading about Israel’s rebellion and forthcoming judgment, the role of the Assyrian armies in carrying out that judgment, and God’s promises to save a remnant and send a Savior, but what was carrying me in my current turmoil was the golden thread of God’s sovereignty in the text. God, the faithful promise keeper. I could see specific promises made in Isaiah kept in Matthew and Acts. Can’t I trust Him to keep the rest of His promises? Can’t I look forward to the day Christ returns and makes things right—every sad thing made untrue?[2] The God of Isaiah is also the God of Romans, and His plans will not be thwarted. “He who did not spare his own Son but gladly gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Rom. 8:32).

The daily act of opening my Bible and digging in wasn’t a distraction from my troubles. It was guidance and hope in them. The Lord gave me peace—not in changed circumstances but in the grounding of my soul in the Word of my God. He never changes. He is always true. He is the source of joy and hope. The ordinary rhythms of study directed my soul when life got really hard really fast.

I’m reminded of Jehoshaphat’s prayer in 2 Chronicles 20:12. “We don’t know what to do but our eyes are on you.” That’s what we’re doing with regular study of God’s Word. When life events leave us confused, overwhelmed, or numb, and we don’t know what to do, we must keep our eyes on Him. Keep reading His Word, thinking through it, studying it, praying it. I’ve been amazed at how even obscure passages have ministered to me in difficult seasons simply for what they showed me about God’s steady, faithful character. It’s been the description of God’s judgment and mercy in Isaiah that’s encouraged me lately, but I can remember living through a particularly difficult bout of chronic pain a few years back and finding great comfort in the drawing of the Promised Land’s boundary lines in the book of Joshua. A God who takes such care in drawing property lines would never overlook my pain. These are not normal texts to turn to in trials, but God is so kind to use His Word right where we are in life. The record-keeping in Scripture reminds me the path of steadfastness is uphill, but many saints have lived long before me and endured much worse, yet the Lord was their faithful guide. As He is mine today.

Regular Bible study might seem habitual, like a box to check on your spiritual to do list each day. But regularly turning to Scripture day after day will carry you when the mundane days turn dark. Keep seeking the Lord in His Word. The cure doesn’t really change. If you teach yourself to default to Scripture when life is normal, you’ll default to Scripture when life is hard. And the Lord will give you what you need to endure.

If you teach yourself to default to Scripture when life is normal, you’ll default to Scripture when life is hard. And the Lord will give you what you need to endure. Share on X

 

[1] I have looked for a source on this, but I believe it came from a sermon I heard years ago, and I’ve given up hope at this point of locating it. I’m sure Tim Keller worded it better than I have done here.

[2] A nod to the question of Samwise Gamgee in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, which admittedly I have not read but I did read The Hobbit and that’s good enough for me.

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

You Have Time to Read the Bible in the New Year

One of the things I used to tell myself all the time was that I didn’t have enough time to read the Bible. In my mind, if I wanted to be serious about Bible reading, I’d have to get up at 5 a.m. and read for an hour. Granted, my priorities were mixed up, because if there truly was no other choice than to get up early and read for an hour, if I’d really been serious about growing in my relationship with the Lord, I would have counted the cost and done it. But I told myself and others I was just “too busy.” That went on for several years.

What finally flipped the switch for me was suffering. I got really desperate after an intense season of loss and physical pain, so I went to my Bible to understand who God was if He wouldn’t change my circumstances. I began reading the Word and while God didn’t change my circumstances, He did change me.

In the many years since then, I’ve often been told my others that they don’t have time to read the Bible regularly. It’s one of the most common excuses I get now as a Bible teacher. It might be the thing holding you back right now. But I’m lovingly calling your bluff. You do have time to read the Bible. And so did I during all those years I swore I didn’t. Here’s how I know.

I conducted a little experiment recently. Using my phone, I timed how long it took me to read the entire book of James. Reading at a slightly slower pace than normal, I read all five chapters. It took seven-and-a-half minutes. Then, I reread chapter one. It took only ninety seconds.

woman reading Bible

Sometimes when we set out to start a new habit, especially a spiritual discipline, we strive to go from a 0 or 1 to a 9 or 10. That is a surefire way to go out too strong only to burned out in a matter of days or weeks. But here’s a thought: you don’t have to be a 10 right away. When it comes to Bible reading, whether you’re starting something new or refreshing something that has fizzled out, don’t strive to be a 9 or 10 at first. Shoot for a 5 or 6, maybe. What I mean is, don’t start out with an hour of Bible reading at 5 a.m. unless this is a really, really feasible plan for you. Most of us won’t benefit from a plan like that. Not because it wouldn’t be good for us (it would be) but because if we start out too strong too quickly, we’re very likely to quit. We don’t want Bible reading for two weeks at the beginning of every year followed by months and months of spiritual malnourishment. We want Bible reading for life.

If you’re avoiding regular Bible reading because you don’t think you have time, let me encourage you: you do have time. Read James. Read the whole book once or twice a day for a month. Read a chapter several times and write down what you learn. Then move on to the next chapter. And the next book. And the next. For life. Make Bible reading a non-negotiable habit and build your life around it. I promise, you have time. If you had time to read this article, you have time to read your Bible.

If you have time to read this article, you have time to read your Bible.

If you’re planning to kick off a Bible reading habit on January 1st, may I encourage you not to go out too hard, too big, or too presumptuously? Ordinary, steady, small faithful habits will grow into a lifetime of extraordinary faithfulness. The more you read and learn and pray, the more you’ll love it. And with time, your time in the Word will increase out of true desire. That’s what happened for me. Many months of fifteen minutes of faithful Bible reading each day evolved into a regular hour of study and prayer at 6 a.m. on most days. I love that time and guard it closely. But it didn’t start out that way. A small, doable start will lay the path for decades of daily time in the Word as well as life-transforming growth because God is kind and faithful to use our obedience for good.

So, as you consider your Bible reading habits for 2026, set an achievable goal. At the first of the year, start out with simply reading your Bible regularly. You do have time. You don’t have to go out too strong, though. Spiritual growth feels slow, but it’s good steady growth. You’re not sprinting for a few weeks. You’re plodding for life. And plodding is faithful.

Photo by Sylvain Brison on Unsplash

Are you Afraid? Now is the Perfect Time to Trust God.

You never know when fear will come rushing into your heart.

Maybe it hits as you open a bill you weren’t expecting, crushing you with the question of financial provision. Perhaps it’s the moment the doctor calls with those long-awaited test results. Maye it’s a knife that slices your heart with pain when your child comes to you with a hurt that is not yours to fix. Maybe it’s the storm, the earthquake, the fire. Or maybe it’s not those things themselves but their imagined potential. Perhaps it’s the career that is crumbling or the job in jeopardy. Maybe it’s the ache of perpetual loneliness or the marriage that’s empty of love.

Whatever the trigger, fear slides into your thoughts as you try to sleep, reminding you of the things you promised yourself you’d deal with in the morning. The questions pile up, each more desperate than the last. How will I endure? What will I do? Who will help me? How will I survive this?

We don’t get to live lives absent of fear. Our world is broken, and so are we. Sin has touched every corner of existence, and thus, we live in fear of what we cannot control or change. But Scripture teaches us to look at fear with eternal eyes. The moment fear crashes into your thoughts, freezing your mind and heart with terror or anxiety, this is the moment—the very moment—when you have an open invitation to trust God.

person standing in the dark at a window

While fleeing from King Saul’s violent rage, David found himself in the presence of even more enemies. You can read his story in 1 Samuel 21, but Psalm 56 gives us his prayer in a time of desperate fear. He wrote, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?”

Keep in mind, his very life is being threatened. And he does not deny his fear—he names it: “when I am afraid.” You should recognize that moment when it hits you, too. “I am afraid,” you can tell the Lord. But, don’t stay there. You can refuse fear’s demand to travel down all the paths of what-if. Rather, you can view the arrival of fear as the moment you choose to turn to the sovereign God of the universe and trust Him with your life. That’s what David did. “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you,” he prays. And so must we. When we’re afraid, that’s when we put our trust in God. That’s when we trust Him with the thing we are most afraid of. Whatever it is.

Like David, you can say turn the moment of fear on its head and use it as your platform to stand firm in faith in your Almighty God. You can say it with confidence:

In God I trust; I shall not be afraid of financial strain.
In God I trust; I shall not be afraid of broken relationships.
In God I trust; I shall not be afraid of illness.
In God I trust; I shall not be afraid of problems I can’t fix.
In God I trust; I shall not be afraid of job uncertainty.
In God I trust; I shall not be afraid of the future.
In God I trust; I shall not be afraid of disaster.
In God I trust; I shall not be afraid of death.

Paul tells us in Romans 8 that for those who are in Christ, we need not fear what happens to us. We are guaranteed to suffer hard things in this life, even some of the things we are afraid of. We follow a Savior who suffered. We should not be surprised when we follow in His footsteps. And yet, there is no reason to despair and every reason to put our trust in God, for there is nothing—nothing—in the universe that can separate us from God’s love for us in Christ. Not financial destitution, not danger, not disaster nor poverty nor even death. We can lose everything in this life but still have Christ, and in Him we have all we need. Even if our deepest fears are realized and we lose our very lives, we will always be with the Lord.

What can flesh really do to you? Nothing eternal.

I don’t know what’s going on in your life right now, but I’ve had a few moments lately when fear has waltzed its way into my mind, paralyzing me with worry. Each time, I can feel its icy hands gripping my heart: What if, what if, what if? But the Spirit reminds me of David’s prayer in Psalm 56:3, and I know that rather than letting fear carry me off in wasteful worry, I can look it in the eyes and say, “Yes, I am afraid. So now I will put my trust in God.” That’s the invitation. If you are afraid, now is the perfect time to trust God.

God is sovereign, and He is also good. Therefore, He is completely trustworthy. You can trust Him with your fears.

 

Rather than being carried off in wasteful worry, you can say to your fear, “Yes, I am afraid. So now I will put my trust in God.” Share on X

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Turn Back Your Clocks and Invest in Spiritual Growth

I’ve long used January 1st as the day I’m going to get my life together. New diet? Clean slate starts on the first day of the new year. Exercise plan? I’ll begin on the first of the year. Keep the Tupperware cabinet from throwing plastic containers at me every time I open it? Organization will commence on the first day of the year. Bible reading plan? I’ll get right on that after the holidays. New Year’s resolutions are a thing because we feel like a new year is a clean slate, a blank page with nothing written on it to announce our screw-ups or failures yet.

But I think sometimes we view January 1st as an excuse to keep living life per usual, especially when it comes to spiritual disciplines like Bible-reading and prayer. I’ve made a mess of our spiritual habits to this point, you think. Might as well wait a few more months to start over. But for North American readers, I’d like to encourage you not to wait until January to start (or start again) reading your Bible and praying. Start this weekend when Daylight Saving Time ends.

alarm clock reading 5:50

Several years ago, I realized that tucked into our fall schedule is a gift for investing in our spiritual growth. Most people I know despise the end of Daylight Saving Time because it gets dark so early in the evening. As a morning person, I secretly enjoy the change. I like the dark evenings that signify the coming of winter. Growing up in the heat and humidity of the south, I start longing for cold nights in July. When we “fall back” in autumn, we “gain” an hour, so to speak, which most of us earmark for an extra bit of sleep. However, I’ve learned that the end of Daylight Saving is the best time to begin the habit of reading the Bible first thing in the morning.

Now, I’m not saying you have to read the Bible in the morning. If you’re a night owl who can stay awake to pray and study the Word, the Lord bless you and keep you. I can barely hold my eyes open past 9 p.m. For many of us, morning is the best time to open our Bibles with regularity because our days simply get away from us after we finish our morning routines. Personally, I love getting up early while my kids are asleep and the house is quiet. I make coffee, open my Bible and notebook, pray, and enjoy being with the Lord when nothing else is competing for my attention. You don’t have to be a legalist to enjoy a morning habit of Scripture reading and prayer!

But, I haven’t always enjoyed meeting with the Lord early in the morning. I’ve struggled to get up early enough for anything but a shower and a cup of coffee. I’ve hit dry spells which have tempted me to stay in bed. I’ve parented through sleepless nights with infants and toddlers as well as long seasons of chronic pain that kept me from sleep. I do understand the difficulty of getting out of bed in the morning. But here is where the time change is a gift. You’re gaining an hour that you can spend on the Lord, and your body is unlikely to protest the way it normally does.

alarm clockIf you’re used to getting up at 6 a.m., then your body will be ready to get out of bed at 5 a.m. after Daylight Saving Time ends because 5 a.m. will feel like 6 a.m. Your body won’t know the difference if you don’t let it. You’ll get tired earlier in the evening, but you can begin going to bed earlier to compensate. Take advantage of this one time of the year when getting up earlier won’t be so hard! If you don’t have a regular habit of Bible reading and prayer or have tried and failed in the past, use the gift of “falling back” to establish the habit. An hour of spiritual rest will nourish your soul more than an extra hour of sleep ever could.

To help yourself take advantage of this little “life hack,” make your plan Saturday night and do the following:

  1. Move your clocks back an hour and set your alarm an hour earlier than usual (or thirty minutes, whatever is feasible for you).
  2. Pick a Bible reading plan. You can start this 1-year reading plan whenever you want—not just on January 1st.  Or follow a guide like this.
  3. Write out a list of things to pray for each day or week.
  4. Put your Bible, notebook, pen, reading glasses, etc. in a place designated for daily study and leave them there.
  5. Prepare and program your coffee maker if you need a bit of a caffeinated boost to get going in the morning.
  6. Go to bed (not too late!) knowing you don’t have any decisions to make in the morning except to get up to meet with the Lord.

Spiritual growth is something God is pleased to bring about in our lives, and He uses His Word, prayer, and the church to cultivate godliness in us. When we spend time knowing Him through His Word and prayer, He will bring about growth. We’ll be like the happy man in Psalm 1 who was always nourished by the Word, flourishing in every season because we delighted in the Word of the Lord day and night.

And if you get off track, don’t worry. Start again tomorrow. The day is full of new mercies and God’s faithfulness.

 

Don't wait until January 1st to begin a Bible reading plan! Did you know it's easier to practice a new spiritual discipline when Daylight Saving Time ends? Share on X

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Awaken Your Hunger

I cook dinner for my family most nights. I don’t mind cooking, and often I even enjoy it. But I have a little problem in the kitchen and that problem is tasting while cooking. If you’re the resident chef in your household, you likely know what I mean. I don’t usually follow recipes when I cook. I like to “cook from the hip,” so to speak, pulling together ideas that make sense in my head and usually translate onto the plate. But, to make sure things go well together, I taste along the way. Tasting your food as you prepare it in stages guards against over or under-seasoning. The problem with tasting as you cook is that by the time you get dinner on the table, you’re not very hungry anymore. No matter how delicious the food looks on the plate, if you’ve nibbled the ingredients as you’ve cooked, you’ve tamped down your appetite for the finished product. You’re not really satisfied by the little bits you ate along the way, but you’re no longer hungry for the main thing.

person chopping vegetables

In his book on fasting, John Piper draws a similar picture of how we address spiritual hunger. He writes, “The more deeply you walk with Christ, the hungrier you get for Christ. If you don’t feel strong desires for the manifestation of the glory of God, it is not because you have drunk deeply and are satisfied. It’s because you have nibbled so long at the table of the world. Your soul is stuffed with small things, and there is no room for the great. God did not create you for this.”[1] Like tamping down my appetite as I’m tasting and assembling ingredients for dinner, I find myself quieting my hunger for God by tasting too many things that don’t satisfy. Sometimes it’s not the quality so much as the quantity: a half hour of mindless scrolling here, a couple of hours of Netflix bingeing there, the incessant input of a podcast or audiobook every time it gets quiet. I keep filling up my soul with so many things that leave me hungry but not for what I need.

When my heart’s hunger is rightly fed, it begins to yearn for what it truly desires and requires. When I push back from the table of the world and head to the table where the Bread of Life is freely and abundantly served, I find a true soul satisfaction that is so full of joy and rest and peace, I can’t help but come back again and again and again. I’m never sorry when I reject the small things and wait for the main thing.

What I need is Christ. More and more of Him. But what I so often settle for is less. So much less.

The more I feed on the Word of God, the more I hunger for Christ. The more I feed on the things of the world, the more restless my heart becomes. If I’m consistently feeding my heart the wrong thing, I will see the anemic fruit of that malnourishment. Too much scrolling? Distracted prayer time. Too much entertainment? Constant desire to be entertained. Too much self-indulgence or feasting without ever fasting? Weakness and grumbling at the first sign of spiritual discomfort. Too much focus on my desires? Little desire to serve others. To be clear, I’m not talking about asceticism in any way, which we know from Colossians 2:20-23 is of no use in fighting sin. What I am talking about is wanting deep, spiritual intimacy with Christ while dousing my affections for Him with love of the world. I don’t want to be satisfied with less when Christ offers so much more.

When I saturate my heart with Scripture, when I labor in prayer, when I sit at the table and drink from the Living Water and eat the Bread of Life, my soul is filled and somehow hungrier still to continue walking closely with Christ. The good news is that we were created for this. If we don’t feel hunger for the Lord because we’ve been tasting too many lesser things, we’re not left without hope. Piper says, “There is an appetite for God. And it can be awakened.” In my experience, this has always proven true. We have many clear biblical exhortations to live closely to God’s Word, to obey His commands, to say no to sin by delighting in Scripture, to grow in grace and knowledge of Jesus. These commands aren’t simply to make our lives busier or rigid with rules. These commands pull us close to God’s Word which, with the Spirit’s help, will have its effect on our anemic and apathetic hearts. When we sit down at the right table for the main meal, that hunger for the Lord will be awakened, strengthened, and satisfied. We’ll begin to hunger for what is best.

If you’re feeling little desire for Jesus, consider your diet. What are you putting into your mind and heart all day? Could it be that if you turned off the screens and opened your Bible, your appetite might altogether change? I know it’s ironic to read this on a screen, but as the poet said, “The world is too much with us,” and Wordsworth had no concept of social media or smartphones. We must make conscious decisions to awaken our hunger for the Lord by feeding it. Open your Bible often—daily even. Don’t fill every quiet moment with the noise of the world. Don’t settle for less when Christ offers more. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!

My goal these days is to put more distance between myself and the apps on my phone, and to put less distance between myself and my Bible. If I don’t desire God, then I will flood my heart with His truths until I do. The more I get of Him, the more I want. And the more I am satisfied.

If I don’t desire God, then I will flood my heart with His truths until I do. Share on X

 

 

[1] John Piper, A Hunger for God (Crossway: 1997), 23.

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God Is Our Guide on Paths We Did Not Choose

I was twenty-nine when the pain started. It was subtle. Just a little soreness in my low back that began waking me up at night. But as the weeks turned to months, the pain increased steadily, growing from a flicker to a blaze that burned all night. Unable to sleep, I walked the floors in the middle of the night, crying out to the Lord for help. It took six years to get a diagnosis for a cluster of inflammatory autoimmune diseases. After my diagnosis, it took ten years to find a treatment that brought any kind of relief, and even though I’m in clinical remission, I know that remission is temporary in nature.

two pairs of hands holding a compass and a map

When I was fifteen, I made a promise to the Lord that I would obediently go wherever he led. Back then, I was sure he’d call me to an impoverished country to serve as a missionary. I was open to that. Instead, he has led me into a life marked by physical pain. It’s not exactly what I had in mind. We used to sing the hymn “Wherever He Leads, I’ll Go” in the church of my childhood, and I sang it with gusto when I was young, not knowing that sometimes God guides us to places we could never have imagined for ourselves. His plans for us are good, but they are not always easy. Even so, I’ve learned that when God calls us to walk through a shadowed valley, he has promised to go with us. We can trust his guidance because he provides what we need to persevere through every valley.

Manna for Israel
When God delivered Israel from slavery in Egypt, he took them to the land he had promised their forefather, Abraham. The journey to the promised land (which would be stalled by the people’s disobedience) was not an ideal place to forage for food. It was a wilderness, inhospitable to travelers. If you’re picturing desert-like terrain without food or water, you’re exactly right. But God provided food for his people the entire time they lived in the wilderness. Every morning, they gathered manna, a wafer-type substance that appeared on the ground (see Exodus 16). They could only gather what they needed for the day or else it would spoil with worms. In the evenings, quail would also be available for meat. In this daily act of gathering food, the Israelites had to believe the Lord would provide again. Each day was an opportunity to trust his guidance in a place that seemed completely at odds with the promised destination.

Manna for Us
In my struggle with chronic illness, I’ve learned that daily “manna gathering” is essential for trusting God with my life. No matter how intense my pain on any given night, I know I must reorient my mind and heart to what is true when the sun comes up. I must open my Bible and remember who God is and how much he loves me.

Pain and other physical symptoms of disease can cause extreme tunnel vision, and in the past, I’ve been tempted to let my circumstances tell me what is true about God and his thoughts toward me. I believe God can heal me, but since he hasn’t, I’ve wondered if he loves me. At times, I’ve feared my disease was a consequence for some sin I had forgotten about. Maybe God was angry with me. I’ve worried about what my health and my faith would be like ten years from now. Twenty years. Thirty.

But this is where daily “manna gathering” of the Word is crucial. I didn’t need to worry about God’s long-term mercies. They’ll be there when I need them (see Lamentations 3:22-23). I needed to focus on today’s mercies only. I began searching through Scripture after each night of debilitating pain, writing down what I learned about God’s character. I made lists in a spiral notebook, copying down the attributes and actions of the Lord as I read. He wasn’t punishing me, for all my sins were paid for at the cross. He wasn’t withholding love, for nothing separates me from his love (Rom. 8:1, 38-39). If he loved me while I was still a sinner and sent Christ to die for me, then nothing—not even pain—could separate me from his love. In time, I grew confident of the Lord’s presence and faithfulness to me even in my physical suffering. Each morning I opened the Bible to combat my fears and worries with truth, and each day God’s Word was enough to sustain me until the next day. God guided me down a path of pain, but it led to certainty of his love for me.

God Guides, the Church Provides
Living with ongoing health issues means you sometimes need help in practical ways. During some of my worst flare ups, I’ve kept my struggle quiet, unwilling to draw attention to myself or burden others with needs. When a friend from church kindly rebuked me for trying to be self-sufficient, I asked my church family for prayer to get through a particularly painful season. The response was overwhelming: meals, cleaning, childcare, intercessory prayer. God has given us the church to encourage one another, to help us walk in faithfulness to him. It wasn’t his intention for us to fly solo throughout the Christian life. He knew we’d have practical and spiritual needs, and he gave us the church to meet those needs. He provides care and love through the body of Christ.

When I have allowed my church to minister to me, I’ve seen that they are in the valley with me. Weeping when my pain is great, rejoicing when I’m sleeping through the night. Where God has led me, his people are also present.

Where Has God Guided You?
God is intimately acquainted with his people. He is not far-off or distant, holding you at arm’s length. So, if he has guided you into a place you didn’t exactly want to go, he will not abandon you there. He could have led Israel in many different directions, but he led them specifically to a place where they would learn to trust him daily. He’s led me to a similar place, and though I will always pray for healing, I wouldn’t trade his nearness for anything. He is your God, and he will faithfully shape your heart to become like his in the place he’s called you to.

“For this is our God forever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.” -Psalm 48:14

God is not far-off or distant, holding you at arm’s length. So, if he has guided you into a place you didn’t exactly want to go, he will not abandon you there. Share on X

Author’s note: this post first appeared at Dwell Differently.
Photo by Daniil Silantev on Unsplash

God’s Word is Good For You

I spent most of my twenties not reading the Bible.

I was a Christian, I believed in Jesus, and I was even a pastor’s wife for the second half of that decade, but I did not have any regular habits of Bible reading. Like many churched folks, I knew that I should read and study Scripture, but I struggled to make it a priority in my daily life. When I look back at those days spent living undernourished and spiritually anemic, it’s difficult to understand why I would cut myself off from God’s appointed source of growth. Having spent all of my thirties and forties thus far with my face pressed into my Bible every morning, I know now that my ability to persevere in the faith is rooted in the sustaining grace that God gives us through His Word. To abide in Christ means to let His words live in you and to obey his commands (John 15:7, 10). If I want to remain in Christ, bearing fruit and glorifying the Father, I must live closely to Scripture.

So for such a long time, why didn’t I?

Maybe it was laziness. Perhaps it was the illusion of self-sufficiency. But boiled down to its basest form, the problem was unbelief. If I had truly believed what Scripture says about itself—what God says about His Word—then I would have bent over backwards to make sure I was saturating my heart and mind with it regularly. But I was either ignorant of its claims or doubtful of its promises—or both. Either way, if I had truly believed that God would change me through His Word, I would have read it. Though I wouldn’t have articulated it this way, deep down, I just wasn’t convinced it was that life-changing. And so, I bumbled through difficult seasons of life, unprepared for suffering and ill-equipped for perseverance. It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom and had nowhere else to look for truth that I finally opened my Bible and gave myself to what God had to say.

I know I am not unique in my struggle to make regular Bible reading a priority. And I wonder if, like me, the Christians who know they should read Scripture but don’t are, at their core, doubtful about its benefits. What can really be improved by reading old words day in and day out? Reading God’s Word doesn’t seem to bring about immediate change, so why bother? In this culture of on-demand, always-streaming, one-day-delivery gratification, we are primed to expect instant results for minimal effort. And yet, sanctification doesn’t work that way. Growth in Christ is a lifelong process that takes time and patience and the work of the Spirit through our obedience to His commands in Scripture. It necessitates a long view of faithfulness. It means committing to read your Bible with the understanding that the benefits aren’t produced or seen instantaneously. We must walk by faith for a long time in one direction, believing that God will finish the work He began in us. The issue here is what it is in every part of the Christian life: faith. We must believe that God’s Word is effective in changing us at our core, and that it is no empty word for us but our very life.

If we really believed that, we would read it.

Because God is kind and fully aware of our propensity to doubt His word, He has given us an entire chapter in the Bible devoted to the merits and value of Scripture. Psalm 119 is a celebration of Scripture. Again and again, the psalmist draws our attention to the merits, benefits, and joys of living life closely to God’s Word. Because it is such a long and thorough psalm, I could write several posts listing all the reasons why God’s Word is vital for the Christian life and still not cover them all. For now, I’ll distill them into seven reasons why God’s Word is good for us.

person holding bible

God’s Word revives us when our hearts are cold and dry.
If you’ve ever gone through a spiritually dry season, you know how tempting it is to abandon daily Bible reading. If your heart can’t feel anything towards the Lord, what’s the point? But, the best way to persevere through such a season isn’t to refuse the cure but rather to drink it down deeply. “My soul clings to the dust;” the psalmist writes. “Give me life according to your word!” (Ps. 119:25). God’s Word revives our hearts when we are fainthearted or weary. We can’t expect to feel affection for the Lord if we are not giving our hearts reasons for that affection. Meditating on God’s Word will, in time, revive our hearts and restore our affection for Him.

God’s Word comforts us when we are suffering.
When nothing else in life is certain, God is true. We can’t hold on to a promise that our suffering in this life will end when we want it to because we don’t have that promise. But we do have promises that God will be with us, that He will sustain us, and that He will use our suffering for our good and for His glory. “This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life” (Ps. 119:50). When we turn to Scripture for comfort and strength to endure, His Word gives us the hope we need. He also gives us hope in His Word that our eternity with Him will be free from any and every sorrow.

God’s Word reorients us to what is true about God.
When we distance ourselves from Scripture, we tend to process our life circumstances or societal events in a vacuum. It may be that the only voice we listen to is our own. (Or worse, the echo chambers of social media pundits.) It becomes easy to look at the world and believe lies about God. But when we view the world through what God has said about Himself, our vision is clearer and sharpened by eternity. “You are good and you do good; teach me your statues” can become the grid through which we view our lives and the world, anchoring our perceptions in God’s truth about God’s character (Ps 119:68).

God’s Word makes us wise no matter our level of education.
The psalmist writes: “I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the aged, for I keep your precepts” (Ps 119:99-100). I love this encouragement for there is a great difference between knowledge and wisdom. Wisdom comes from God who gives it generously to all who ask, and His Word applied makes one wise for life. Living closely to God’s Word shapes your character and the way you think, which then informs the way you act, react, and live.

God’s Word helps us discern what is true so we can avoid what is false.
“Through your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way” (Ps 119:104). Sometimes what seems right to us may, in fact, be untrue when laid next to the plumb line of Scripture. You’ve likely heard the analogy before: to train a bank teller to identify counterfeit bills, you make them study the original. Similarly, the way we will identify false teaching is by studying the true gospel regularly. When we know what is true, we can steer clear of believing what is false.

God’s Word helps us say no to sin.
Little has helped me personally in my fight against sin like memorizing Scripture. The psalmist tells us plainly that treasuring God’s Word keeps us from sinning: “I have stored up your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” (Ps 119:11). It’s not enough for us to stick our fingers in our ears, close our eyes, and say “I’m not going to sin!” over and over again. We say no to sin by saying yes to God’s Word! As we fill our hearts with Scripture, the desire to sin weakens, our love for worldly things is diluted, and our hearts are shaped to love what God loves instead.

God’s Word gives us joy.
“Your testimonies are my heritage forever; for they are the joy of my heart” (Ps 119:111). Sometimes we view Bible reading as a task of drudgery—another thing we have to do but don’t really want to. But anyone who has spent years faithfully abiding in Christ in the Word will tell you that Jesus was speaking the truth in John 15 when He talked about this obedience being for our joy. It took years for me to see the benefits of Bible reading in my life, but I can tell you with certainty that little else brings me joy like meditating on God’s words to us. In thinking deeply about His character, His plan for redemption, His promises to keep us until He sends Jesus for us—my heart is enriched with joy that transcends life’s sorrows. Scripture is His story. And His story brings great joy!

God’s Word does more for the Christian life that I can encapsulate in one article, not least of which is that it makes us wise for salvation. Jesus said in John 5:39 that all of Scripture testifies about Him, and reading the Bible with a gospel lens will deepen your understanding of God’s love for you in sending Jesus. If we really believe that His Word is good for us, we will read it. Not to check a box or to consider ourselves holy but to remember that God is good and He has already made us holy in Christ.

If we really believe that His Word is good for us, we will read it. Not to check a box or to consider ourselves holy but to remember that God is good and He has already made us holy in Christ. Share on X

Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

Working with Faithfulness When Our Bodies Are Weak

As a work-from-home mom, I flit from task to task all day long. Whether it’s washing laundry or writing, meal planning or preparing Bible study materials, scrubbing toilets or waiting in school pick-up lines, my days are never the same but always full. I’ve long thrived on a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day, feeling that a day well lived is reflected in a to-do list well checked. I used to believe that faithfulness in my job as a working mom could only be measured by output. In my late twenties, however, I began exhibiting regular physical symptoms that challenged that belief. Ten years later, I have learned to live with an incurable autoimmune disease that causes inflammatory arthritis. While I have many good days with relatively low amounts of pain, I also have intense flare-ups that can last months. During those flare-ups, any hope of being faithful to my work evaporates as I focus simply on getting through the day and completing the most necessary tasks.

For many moms, our work—paid or not—must continue when we don’t feel well. How do we practice faithfulness in our work when we don’t have the energy or margin to tackle our normal tasks? Are we faithful on the days we feel strong and accomplished but unfaithful on the days we feel weak and need rest?

to do list

True faithfulness is being wholly devoted to Christ in every season of life. While circumstances and responsibilities ebb and flow, faithfulness to Christ is our everyday calling. No matter the season, we are called to keep persevering in the faith.[1] And we are well equipped to obey that calling because God has given us everything we need for life and godliness![2] The outworking of our faithfulness, especially regarding our everyday tasks, might look different depending on our circumstances, but we can still walk in faithfulness when we experience frustrating limitations. The undone to-do list might remind us of our weaknesses, but our weaknesses can point us to our strong God.

Work wasn’t always supposed to be so hard. It wasn’t supposed to be linked with feelings of pride or despair. God created Adam and “put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it” (Gen. 2:15). That’s before Adam and Eve sinned in Genesis 3. We often bemoan the frustrations and futility of our work, but God’s plan for work was good. The challenging aspects of work are a result of the fall. Adam’s sin against God resulted in hard work with little return. As moms, we understand the feelings of fruitlessness when we’re wiping up spills for the hundredth time or folding laundry that will soon get dirty again. When we’re further limited in fruitful work because our bodies are in pain or our minds are foggy, we might be tempted to find our identity in our output—or lack thereof.

When we can’t be as productive as we’d like as moms, we might struggle with feelings of guilt or shame. It’s humbling to have to ask for help or to leave tasks unfinished. But the awareness of our limitations comes with a sweet realization of our neediness for Christ. We were desperate for his atoning work at the cross to save us from our sins, and we are desperate for his daily sanctifying work in our hearts. Our weaknesses reveal our neediness acutely. And that’s not a bad thing. When God makes us aware of our desperate dependence upon him to work, accomplish, create, or to simply make it through the day, we see that our faithfulness is tightly tied to his. Faithfulness in our work isn’t necessarily about being the most productive or the most accomplished. Being faithful in our work means that whatever our hands find to do, we do for his glory and in his strength, no matter how strong or weak we might feel.

A few months ago, during an especially difficult streak of painful days and nights, my repeated prayer to the Lord was one of survival: “Lord, please help me get through this day.” I didn’t know how I was going to make it to my children’s bedtime while fighting so much pain and fatigue. Hour by hour, I had to pray for his help; I didn’t know what else to do. In my weakness, I was keenly aware of my need for his faithful presence. When I sifted through the most pressing emails, he was aware of my feelings of overwhelm.[3] While I prepped a no-fuss dinner and leaned on an icepack in the pick-up line, I remembered that Jesus was praying for me.[4] When I moved some important meetings to the following week, he was aware of my discouragement and comforted me with his nearness.[5] When I had to ask a friend from church for help with my children, he provided rest through his body.[6] When I went to bed exhausted and feeling like I could have done better, he gave me rest and waited with new mercies for the next morning.[7]

More recently, I’ve had a longer run of good days where my pain levels are low and my to-do list has been regularly completed. On those days, I am tempted to think that I am a better mom, a better wife, a better employee, a better Christian. You might feel that way when you finally got the baby to sleep all night, when the laundry hamper was fully emptied for a couple of hours, or when you miraculously cleared your inbox. While it isn’t wrong to enjoy a sense of accomplishment, faithfulness in work isn’t always indicated by a fully checked to-do list. Faithfulness is pressing forward in spite of our challenges and struggles, holding tightly to our Savior who holds tightly to us. Faithfulness recognizes that when we are weak, he is strong.

 

While it isn’t wrong to enjoy a sense of accomplishment, faithfulness in work isn’t always indicated by a fully checked to-do list. Faithfulness recognizes that when we are weak, God is strong. Share on X

Author’s note: This article was originally published at Risen Motherhood on March 3, 2022.

[1] Colossians 1:21-23, Hebrews 3:14, James 5:11
[2] 2 Peter 1:3
[3] Psalm 40:17
[4] Hebrews 7:25
[5] Psalm 34:18
[6] Galatians 6:2
[7] Lamentations 3:22-23
Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Don’t Want to Go to Church? Go Anyway.

I didn’t want to go to church that day.

You probably don’t want to hear that from your pastor’s wife, but the truth is on that particular Sunday, I was in a bad mood. I hadn’t slept well, I had been discouraged all week about both work and some relationships. The morning had spun out of control as one of my children, also grumpy, collided with my impatience. I drove to church with gritted teeth and wished I had stayed home. But who would play the piano for the corporate singing if I stayed home? Who would fold the bulletins and get the communion bread ready at such a late notice? Can you really beg off from church because you’re mad at the world?

I’m too Type A to leave things undone for someone else, so I went to church purely from a sense of duty and nothing else. It certainly wasn’t a desire to worship the Lord with my church family, that’s for sure. I’d rather be left alone.

But something happened once I got to church. My bad mood fell apart.
Don’t get me wrong, I fought to stay in a snit because we’re nothing if not self-destructive, right?

But the tight feelings of anger and selfishness began to loosen their grip on my heart, and I could feel my inner self expanding as conviction and encouragement rushed into patch things up. More than I had needed to stay home, I had needed the church. I didn’t even know how much.

church pew with Bible

I can’t tell you how often I’ve walked out of corporate worship and thought, “Wow, I really needed a Sunday.”

Like that Sunday marked by my bad mood and cold heartedness, I’m not usually aware of how much I need the time with my local church beforehand. But once there, gathered with my church family, standing to sing praises to God, hearing the Word proclaimed, praying together, remembering the gospel together, taking communion to remember who I am in Jesus and who He has faithfully been to me, feeling conviction pierce the prickly parts of my heart, hugging my siblings in Christ in the hallway, discussing Scripture in the classroom—I realize how thirsty and hungry and weary I was when I walked in.

I need it all. Week after week after week. And, my friend, so do you. The psalmist tells us why.

In Psalm 73, Asaph mourns his life circumstances. He begins his psalm declaring what he knows to be true: God is good to those who are wholeheartedly devoted to Him (Ps. 73:1). And yet Asaph, who seeks to be faithful to God seems to only suffer for it. Meanwhile, the wicked around him are prosperous and happy, completely unbothered by suffering or conviction. They reject God’s Word and His authority, yet they have everything they want in this life. Asaph struggles to reconcile what he sees with his eyes with what he knows in his heart. “This just can’t be right,” he seems to say. He’s envious of the easy life enjoyed by enemies of God, but he can’t make sense of how he feels and what he believes (Ps. 73:16). Why suffer in faithfulness to God when you can reject God and still be happy and wealthy? Asaph can’t come to terms with the unfairness of it all. But he can’t walk away—he can’t. So he does something that changes everything.

He enters the house of the Lord. Or, as we might say on this side of the cross, he went to church.

When Asaph enters the house of the Lord—suddenly he sees. His spiritual myopia dissipates, and suddenly, everything makes sense. The way his perspective turns in verse 17 is sudden and jarring, in the best way. Out in the world among the scoffers and the oppressors, Asaph’s trust in the Lord had weakened. But standing in the presence of the Lord, his vision clears and his resolve is strengthened into steely faith to stand firm. The impetus for Asaph’s shift is this: he entered the temple where God’s manifest presence dwelled. When Asaph entered God’s presence, that truth he declared in verse 1 crystallized for him. God is good to those who are wholehearted. Buoyed by renewed purpose, he realized that he has everything he needs for God is his portion—forever. No temporary earthly comfort or treasure could ever match the inheritance that the God of Israel is to His people. Asaph remembers what is true—that God will make things right in the end. Those who reject God will not enjoy comfort forever. But the wholehearted worshiper will enjoy comfort forever because God is his comfort and refuge. The Lord is enough for Asaph. In this knowledge, his wilted faith blooms with resolve. How he needed to enter the house of the Lord that day!

As Spirit-filled believers in Jesus, the exhortations to meet with the body of Christ are vital to our spiritual health and growth. I have walked into the weekly corporate gathering feeling as worn down and as confused as Asaph. Why do the wicked prosper? Why does sin go unpunished? Why am I still the way that I am after all these years of walking with Jesus? But like Asaph, once I step into the house of the Lord, I begin to remember what I had forgotten.

Because of Jesus’ sacrifice at the cross, God’s people are now His dwelling place. We don’t need a temple or a specific place to worship. What we do need, Scripture makes clear, is the regular gathering of the family of God—brothers and sisters who are also indwelled by the Spirit—carrying out His commands to pray together, sing songs to one another, take communion, declare His Word, confess our sins, encourage one another to fight sin, and bear one another’s burdens.

Our resolve to love God wholeheartedly may weaken throughout the week. Life is hard and temptations abound. But when we regularly link arms with the family of God to worship, pray, and learn, that resolve is renewed and strengthened by the gathering of God’s people, His dwelling place.

No matter how I walk into church or what I carry with me, I leave my church on Sundays remembering what I nearly forgot: in Christ I have everything I need. He is my portion forever. I can face what tomorrow holds because now I remember who holds my tomorrow. Like Asaph, my desire to keep following in faithfulness is refreshed and restored. Week after week after week.

If you wake up on a Sunday morning feeling reluctant to gather with the church, I exhort you to go anyway. Suddenly, you’ll see.

 

Our resolve to love God wholeheartedly may weaken throughout the week, but when we gather with the church, our resolve to be faithful is renewed and strengthened. Share on X

Photo by Mitchell Leach on Unsplash

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