I came to motherhood the hard way: with years of waiting and hundreds of negative pregnancy tests and enough tears to fill an ocean nearly as large as the hole in my heart. Sixteen years ago, we were going through our first round of testing for infertility, and I sat in church while the pastor […]
Read MoreMissives
As fast as I could send them, they came back to me. Every day, nearly, there’s a letter in the mailbox. I thought I was the only one doing something old, something with scripted words that flow from a pen and hand cramps and premeditated thought rather than a screen with keys and clicking and […]
Read MoreMore and More
One night at dinner last month, my husband asked our kids what the term “sanctification” means. We’d been reading 1 Thessalonians together and got to chapter 4 where Paul tells us what God’s will for our lives is: our sanctification (1 Thess. 4:3). I don’t know if I ever noticed this verse until a few […]
Read MoreSanctification in Quarantine
I’m worn down. Early on, this isolation felt like a reprieve from our formerly busy schedules. No meetings, no pastoral visits that kept my husband away from home in the evenings, no ball practices or tutoring. No hurried school drop-offs or pick-ups. No cooking a meal for Sunday afternoon potlucks while scrambling to get ready […]
Read MoreI Didn’t Know I Loved You Like This
I didn’t know I loved you like this. A lot of mornings, I grumbled before I saw you. It was a lot of work to get myself together, to get the rest of us together, to put things in order just to get to you. And when I saw you, I took you for granted, […]
Read MoreQuarantine Books and Songs
Now that many of us* are working from home, spending every evening at home, and generally finding more hours in our day for things like reading or talking walks, I thought I’d share a list of books and songs that you might enjoy. I tried to keep my list of books to titles that have […]
Read MoreContentment is Not Control
I was supposed to be on a plane today. I knew what I was going to wear, what was going in my carryon, how I was going to breeze through the TSA pre-check line, how I’d figure out the car rental process at the California airport. I was looking forward to dinner with a woman […]
Read MoreAt the End of the If
I left my house today. It was just for an hour and just for a quick two-minute drive to my husband’s empty office at our empty church building so I could have a quiet conversation with a podcaster via Zoom. But, it was odd to leave, even after just a few days of social distancing. […]
Read MoreOf Love, Sacrifice, and Toilet Paper
I didn’t buy toilet paper. I bought six pounds of rice and seven pounds of dried beans. I bought bouillon cubes and a couple extra sacks of flour. I stood at the grocery store and surveyed what was in the carts of other shoppers as I contemplated how far I could make ten cans of […]
Read MoreWay Down at the Bottom of the Cross
A few weeks ago at church, we sang the old hymn, “Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross.” I’ve always liked that one because the reprise is essentially a plea to remember the gospel every day until we see Jesus face to face. In the cross, in the cross/be my glory ever/’til my ransomed soul shall […]
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