Sometimes I want to believe lies. “Fake news” is tantalizing and volatile, emitting knee-jerk reactions from even the most diplomatic of observers. We react, we make plans, we form opinions and theories around what might be true. We hold on to those things even when the facts are shown to be false. We struggle to…
suffering
How to be thankful when you’ve had a hard year.
I cannot picture eating turkey on the fourth Thursday in November anywhere other than my grandparents’ rural Tennessee home. Perched on a hill and surrounded by trees, their home is large and sunny with an embankment on the back side that slopes downward toward a small pond where I spent every summer of my life…
A Mighty Strong Thread
I see you sitting on the edge of your seat, shoulders slumped and a furrowed brow. Defeated doesn’t begin to describe the gravitational pull on your heart. Despair sinks down deep, opening up and pulsing through your veins and arteries, permeating every cell with a heavy ache. It’s a long-winded ache, one that’s been flowing…
An Invitation to Hurt is an Invitation to Trust: guest post at The Content Mom
There was no way we could hide it from him. We’d brought a baby home with every intention of adopting him, but the entire process was being derailed. Our seven-year-old was with us from the moment the plan began to unravel, and I knew I couldn’t hide it. He was watching and asking valid questions….
Just One Important Thing
It’s been nearly two weeks since things began to unravel. What has always felt strong seems laden with fragility, a thin layer of glass that could be shattered with the faintest touch of pressure. And I’ve learned that in the breath of a moment the phone can ring, the words can come tumbling out in…
when your mom has a brain tumor
For Mom. I was making mashed potatoes when he called. Being born and raised in Tennessee, this is something I’ve never messed up, but by the end of it all, I was left with a gummy, sticky mass of potato starch not fit to eat. She fainted, he said. She was painting and fell off…
Held in the Fire
Pain is white and blue, the hottest center of a flame. Not a gently flickering candle, but an explosion of blistering heat, a fire that blazes without burning out. It starts at the base of my spine and reaches out to my hips, radiating down my right leg with fiery tentacles that entangle themselves around…
{Thy Will Be Done: a reflection on the hardest year of my life}
It was just a year ago. One year. 365 days. How can the depths of love and fear I’ve held in my hands be encapsulated in such a brief window of time? A lifetime wouldn’t be enough to hold the ocean of tears that escaped from my eyes during that year, for the thousands of…