On December 13, 2014, I wrote the following words in my journal in the midst of an excruciating battle with bitterness and pain: I’m realizing that He has loved me all along. Has been with me every day, especially the dark ones. He never abandons His children. He will always keep His promise of His […]
Janie and I met as teenagers. She walked with me through my infertility, and I supported her through her years of singleness. We both became ministry wives, then mothers. Janie seemed to be made for mothering. She was the one I turned to when my son was little and I was unsure how to deal with […]
One of my most prayed prayers is one for patience. Whispered, demanded, wept—it’s something I pray when my sin is pressing closer than the sins of others (though I often think it’s the other way around). When trying to fill my grocery cart while my kids bicker with one another, I grab items from the […]
I made too much chicken. That’s how it started. Too much chicken. As I cooked dinner last night, I thought through my day, mentally adding things to tomorrow’s to-do list, stepping out of the kitchen periodically to address sibling squabbles in the next room. Moving between tasks, I prepared twice as much chicken as our […]
Last night I laid awake most of the night. I told you that. I drifted from one troubled dream to the next, and every moment of lucidity was spent praying for you. I know you well enough to know you were awake, too. Today was a hard day for you. And because you are so […]
We pushed back and forth on the patio swing. He fights the lilt because it gives him a little bit of motion sickness, but after all these years together he knows that I will always force the swing to move if I’m sitting on it. Otherwise, it’s just a chair. Our boys run around the backyard […]
During my first few months as a pastor’s wife, I signed up to make and take dinner to a family who had lost a grandparent to a prolonged illness. I wasn’t a great cook at the time. Twenty-four years old and married barely two years, I was still regularly burning chicken and under-cooking eggs. I […]
The cliff was high and blanketed in wildflowers. My ears had popped repeatedly as we drove up the coastal highway to get to this piece of land jutting out over the Pacific Ocean. Now I stood at the edge and watched the surf pound the rocky shore below with an upward salty spray. Toes at […]
Every day this week, rain has soaked our corner of the earth. All the blooming things of last week are trodden down, beat low to the ground beneath the weight of these regular downpours. The blooms we celebrated and took pictures of last week (because, “who can remember such a beautiful spring?”) are now scattered […]
(This is National Infertility Awareness Week. Statistics show that 1 in 8 couples are affected by infertility. After fifteen years of ongoing infertility, I want to share one story of how I was loved as 1 in 8.) I met Ranelle when I was twenty-one years old. I was newly engaged to my now-husband and […]
