The dregs in my coffee cup have gone cold as I sit on this swing and watch the sun filter through the trees. It’s dawned on me only today that the window barely peeking over my fence is situated at my neighbor’s kitchen sink, and if they’re doing dishes at this early hour or pouring…
The Weary Work of Waiting
I asked what’s hard right now. And you said a lot of things. A lot of hard things. One common thread, a blue one soaked in grief and tears and worry, was about waiting. Waiting to be married, waiting to have children, waiting for a diagnosis, waiting on work, waiting for the right words to…
Just One Important Thing
It’s been nearly two weeks since things began to unravel. What has always felt strong seems laden with fragility, a thin layer of glass that could be shattered with the faintest touch of pressure. And I’ve learned that in the breath of a moment the phone can ring, the words can come tumbling out in…
when your mom has a brain tumor
For Mom. I was making mashed potatoes when he called. Being born and raised in Tennessee, this is something I’ve never messed up, but by the end of it all, I was left with a gummy, sticky mass of potato starch not fit to eat. She fainted, he said. She was painting and fell off…
I Took a Baby to the Beach: Guest Post at Tribe Magazine
There’s a popular meme that pops up on the internet from time to time with that scene from the original Jurassic Park movie where one of the characters stands with his arms splayed out as he carefully backs away from the group of vicious velociraptors that are encircling him. This image is not unlike the…
weekend links + one obscure movie reference
Fall is teasing us with an early arrival here in Missouri, and I plan to enjoy it with my family this weekend. It is an unexpected gift to stand outside in a breeze unmarred by humidity. Healthwise it has not been a stellar week for me, so I’m working a bit more to focus on…
Held in the Fire
Pain is white and blue, the hottest center of a flame. Not a gently flickering candle, but an explosion of blistering heat, a fire that blazes without burning out. It starts at the base of my spine and reaches out to my hips, radiating down my right leg with fiery tentacles that entangle themselves around…
my pockets are filled with poverty.
I’ve been thinking about her all day. She was hovering outside of my van before I could even get the door open, though I didn’t see her until I had one foot on the ground. “Can you help me get my medication?” The words came out in a rush, as if she’d been waiting for…
{on ice cream, apologies, and open doors}
One time up I opened about my struggle with hospitality. It was revealing and a little painful to be so transparent, and I kind of wanted to pretend it was a guest post by someone else, but the feedback I received made it seem like I’m not the only one who wants to grow in…
what I learned this summer
We’re in the final stretch of summer here, and I’ve meant to put up a “What I Learned” post all summer. It wasn’t for lack of learning, but it was for lack of sitting down and writing that post. So, basically these “What I Learned” posts are a big smushed up pile of random things…