I used to be a runner. I ran almost every day and planned my Saturdays around higher mileage long runs. I cross-trained on my days off and organized my family’s evening meals around what kind of run was on my schedule the next morning. I had all the weird accouterments that runners like to collect:…
Bible Study
There Will Be Joy
Every morning at 6 a.m. you can find me sitting cross legged and bleary eyed on the tan couch in my living room. Outside, the sun rises with reliable regularity, its pink morning glow filtered between the tulip trees in our backyard. I’ve been looking at the same view for more than ten years of…
I Have Spiritual Amnesia, and So Do You.
Something strange happens in the nighttime hours. Every night, when I go to bed, I know who I am in Christ and what I believe about the gospel. It’s a hard fight, and by the end of the day it’s likely a worn-down version of what’s real. But, I’ve fought all day to believe it,…
Keep a Soft Heart
Repeatedly inked on the pages of my journal for the past ten months are the words keep a soft heart. Truly, it has taken all thirty-six years of my life to develop a one-sentence prayer that expresses one of my deepest and most regular needs. Keep a soft heart. I searched for the words to…
Real Love Awakens Us to Real Life
Last week I fell down a rabbit hole of remembering. It began with a search for my journal from the year we adopted our oldest son and ended with me digging through a musty pile of notebooks in the basement. I swiped away cobwebs from the dark corner of the cellar where the box of…
Future Discipleship: Perseverance Now Means Perseverance Later
A few hot summers ago, the first week of August found me in the early stages of marathon training. For accountability’s sake, I had already signed up for the St. Jude Marathon in Memphis, Tennessee, and paid my registration fee. My financial investment was the impetus for faithful training. I’d spent the previous year working…
Catch and Release: Taking Personal Criticism to the Word
I could feel the blood draining from my face. The plastic fork in my hand nearly snapped in two under the pressure of my clenched fist. Trying not to reply too hastily, I bit my lip so hard it bled. I thought it was a dinner invitation, but it felt like an ambush. As my…
The Goodness of God in a Closed Womb
Her words were a sledge hammer to my future. “It is unlikely that you will ever conceive.” The doctor patted me on the shoulder awkwardly. Just like that, the future I had assumed and imagined ended in an explosion of grief. Raining down on me for the next decade were shards of dreams, double-edged fissures…
No Stoic Tears
It was an aneurysm that sent my strong, active grandfather to death’s door. In a matter of hours after the angry vessel in his brain burst, he died with his family around him. Minutes before he left us, I sang“It is Well” into the antiseptic hospital air, bolstering—I hoped—my grandfather’s willingness to step into real life….
This is Your Reminder.
It was nearly 8 o’clock–that part of the morning when you’re scrambling to find shoes and fill lunchboxes. My husband was pouring an extra cup of coffee before driving our third grader to school. “How was the gym this morning?” I asked him while I cleaned the baby from a breakfast he decided was beneath him. “It’s mid-March,”…