My husband and I have lived in a rural part of Missouri for just about twelve years now. Since that sweltering summer day in 2005 when we unloaded the moving truck, we’ve been ministering at the same church in the same small town for all this time. We’ve both left our 20’s and nearly our…
perseverance
The Story of the Song: “Hold Me Fast” (on faith and chronic pain)
For five years, I lived with an unnamed illness that split my body wide open with pain every single night. I’d seen doctors and had multiple tests and scans but always walked away with a clean bill of health. Except that I wasn’t healthy. I’d been stooped over with debilitating back pain that never…
This is Your Reminder.
It was nearly 8 o’clock–that part of the morning when you’re scrambling to find shoes and fill lunchboxes. My husband was pouring an extra cup of coffee before driving our third grader to school. “How was the gym this morning?” I asked him while I cleaned the baby from a breakfast he decided was beneath him. “It’s mid-March,”…
Mere Mortals
As you are reading this post, I’m sleeping deeply under general anesthesia. For the third time in eight years, I’m having surgery in an attempt to undo the mess that my body has made in attacking itself over and over. The first time, I was twenty-seven and a new mom. Still bonding and getting to…
How to Thaw a Cold Heart
We call it the “February Funks” in our house. Lagging between holidays, this short month feels long and cold. Spring is tantalizingly close, but we’re constricted by the temperatures that still keep us inside. The lack of activity and sunlight, the draggy feelings that often come after major holiday seasons—these can make us feel despondent…
Weekend Reads
I’ve bookmarked a few things lately that I want to share with you. Below is a list of what I’ve read recently that’s stayed with me. I’ve given my own summary and thoughts, but you can always just skip to the links since I have a lot of words. First up is Tim Challies…
I am not strong: a year of writing publicly
I think I scared him. I called downstairs for a bottle of Aleve and some water. But I don’t think my husband expected to find me lying down in the hallway upstairs. I feel silly when it makes me cry. I’m a grown woman, for crying out loud. I grit my teeth with every intention…
A Woman Without a Country
I keep scrolling. News. Facebook. Twitter. I keep scrolling. Everything I read makes my stomach twist with discomfort. Hatred spewed from both “sides” of the political coin. Left? Right? Which side do I fall on? The lines have been drawn with so many overgeneralizing angles, I can’t quite find their beginnings. According to the vitriol…
Secure in His Love
Sometimes I want to believe lies. “Fake news” is tantalizing and volatile, emitting knee-jerk reactions from even the most diplomatic of observers. We react, we make plans, we form opinions and theories around what might be true. We hold on to those things even when the facts are shown to be false. We struggle to…
A Mighty Strong Thread
I see you sitting on the edge of your seat, shoulders slumped and a furrowed brow. Defeated doesn’t begin to describe the gravitational pull on your heart. Despair sinks down deep, opening up and pulsing through your veins and arteries, permeating every cell with a heavy ache. It’s a long-winded ache, one that’s been flowing…