Her words were a sledge hammer to my future. “It is unlikely that you will ever conceive.” The doctor patted me on the shoulder awkwardly. Just like that, the future I had assumed and imagined ended in an explosion of grief. Raining down on me for the next decade were shards of dreams, double-edged fissures…
faithfulness
No Stoic Tears
It was an aneurysm that sent my strong, active grandfather to death’s door. In a matter of hours after the angry vessel in his brain burst, he died with his family around him. Minutes before he left us, I sang“It is Well” into the antiseptic hospital air, bolstering—I hoped—my grandfather’s willingness to step into real life….
This is Your Reminder.
It was nearly 8 o’clock–that part of the morning when you’re scrambling to find shoes and fill lunchboxes. My husband was pouring an extra cup of coffee before driving our third grader to school. “How was the gym this morning?” I asked him while I cleaned the baby from a breakfast he decided was beneath him. “It’s mid-March,”…
Mere Mortals
As you are reading this post, I’m sleeping deeply under general anesthesia. For the third time in eight years, I’m having surgery in an attempt to undo the mess that my body has made in attacking itself over and over. The first time, I was twenty-seven and a new mom. Still bonding and getting to…
How to Thaw a Cold Heart
We call it the “February Funks” in our house. Lagging between holidays, this short month feels long and cold. Spring is tantalizingly close, but we’re constricted by the temperatures that still keep us inside. The lack of activity and sunlight, the draggy feelings that often come after major holiday seasons—these can make us feel despondent…
I am not strong: a year of writing publicly
I think I scared him. I called downstairs for a bottle of Aleve and some water. But I don’t think my husband expected to find me lying down in the hallway upstairs. I feel silly when it makes me cry. I’m a grown woman, for crying out loud. I grit my teeth with every intention…
A Woman Without a Country
I keep scrolling. News. Facebook. Twitter. I keep scrolling. Everything I read makes my stomach twist with discomfort. Hatred spewed from both “sides” of the political coin. Left? Right? Which side do I fall on? The lines have been drawn with so many overgeneralizing angles, I can’t quite find their beginnings. According to the vitriol…
Secure in His Love
Sometimes I want to believe lies. “Fake news” is tantalizing and volatile, emitting knee-jerk reactions from even the most diplomatic of observers. We react, we make plans, we form opinions and theories around what might be true. We hold on to those things even when the facts are shown to be false. We struggle to…
How to be thankful when you’ve had a hard year.
I cannot picture eating turkey on the fourth Thursday in November anywhere other than my grandparents’ rural Tennessee home. Perched on a hill and surrounded by trees, their home is large and sunny with an embankment on the back side that slopes downward toward a small pond where I spent every summer of my life…
the harbor we are longing for
What is it about Jesus that makes you love Him? Is it what He’s done for you? Or is it aspects of His character? Maybe a little bit of both? When you have felt the most drawn to Him, what was it that pulled you toward Him? One of the things that’s really drawing me…