Concern sat in the passenger seat next to me on Tuesday, kept me company while the miles spun out in front of us with the familiarity that comes on a road well traveled. I’ve made this round trip three times in the past month. Concern is always a willing traveling companion. The last several weeks…
faithfulness
A Mighty Strong Thread
I see you sitting on the edge of your seat, shoulders slumped and a furrowed brow. Defeated doesn’t begin to describe the gravitational pull on your heart. Despair sinks down deep, opening up and pulsing through your veins and arteries, permeating every cell with a heavy ache. It’s a long-winded ache, one that’s been flowing…
The Weary Work of Waiting
I asked what’s hard right now. And you said a lot of things. A lot of hard things. One common thread, a blue one soaked in grief and tears and worry, was about waiting. Waiting to be married, waiting to have children, waiting for a diagnosis, waiting on work, waiting for the right words to…
Just One Important Thing
It’s been nearly two weeks since things began to unravel. What has always felt strong seems laden with fragility, a thin layer of glass that could be shattered with the faintest touch of pressure. And I’ve learned that in the breath of a moment the phone can ring, the words can come tumbling out in…
when your mom has a brain tumor
For Mom. I was making mashed potatoes when he called. Being born and raised in Tennessee, this is something I’ve never messed up, but by the end of it all, I was left with a gummy, sticky mass of potato starch not fit to eat. She fainted, he said. She was painting and fell off…
weekend links + one obscure movie reference
Fall is teasing us with an early arrival here in Missouri, and I plan to enjoy it with my family this weekend. It is an unexpected gift to stand outside in a breeze unmarred by humidity. Healthwise it has not been a stellar week for me, so I’m working a bit more to focus on…
Held in the Fire
Pain is white and blue, the hottest center of a flame. Not a gently flickering candle, but an explosion of blistering heat, a fire that blazes without burning out. It starts at the base of my spine and reaches out to my hips, radiating down my right leg with fiery tentacles that entangle themselves around…
{Thy Will Be Done: a reflection on the hardest year of my life}
It was just a year ago. One year. 365 days. How can the depths of love and fear I’ve held in my hands be encapsulated in such a brief window of time? A lifetime wouldn’t be enough to hold the ocean of tears that escaped from my eyes during that year, for the thousands of…
{I’m trying to look up}
“For every look at self, take ten looks to Christ.” ~Robert Murray M’Cheyne “So I gaze on You in the sanctuary to see Your strength and Your glory.” Psalm 63:2 “When I tried to understand all this, it seemed hopeless until I entered God’s sanctuary.” Psalm 73:16-17a Yesterday I sat at my desk and wrote…
I follow close to You
I’ve been feeling a bit empty lately. A steady stream of writing and pouring out has left me scratching my head and staring at intimidatingly blank pages in all my journals and notebooks. Sometimes the words don’t come, no matter how hard I press down the pen. So I go back to what fills me…