One night last week, I awoke abruptly out of deep sleep around 2 a.m. I listened in the dark, ears straining for what brought me out of my dreams. I heard my three-year-old cough, the sound amplified overmuch through the baby monitor on my bedside table. Satisfied it was nothing more, I turned the volume…
God is faithful
Not Why, But Who
“You don’t get to know why. You just need to trust me.” I cannot count how many times this phrase has left my mouth over the last few weeks. I have a three-year-old, and nearly every question out of his mouth these days is “why?” I only answer my son’s why questions about half the…
When You Feel Too Unworthy to Serve
I remember the first time I stood up in front of a group of women to teach the Bible. My shirt was damp with sweat, and my voice wobbled into the microphone. My knees might actually have knocked together in fear. But it wasn’t fear of failure or of public speaking. It was fear that…
Can I Trust God with My Child’s Suffering?
He was eating a waffle. Just sitting across the café table from me, all gangly arms and legs, eating a waffle that he’d covered in maple syrup. He’s just turned ten, and I’m increasingly aware of the mere three inches between our heights. I picked at my salad, trying to decide if a cup of…
Look at Jesus Until You See Him
We were sitting in a circle on a Wednesday night in the part of the church building called the parlor. If you grew up in a Southern Baptist church there’s a good chance you know which room it is. It’s got mauve wallpaper and darker mauve carpet and chairs made to appear Victorian but that…
More than Many Sparrows
“Is the Lord enough for you?” he asked me. It was late, nearing midnight, and rather than sleeping, my husband and I were sitting in the living room discussing some current challenges in our life. And by “discussing,” I mean that I was loudly airing my frustrations and expressing the awful truth that I did not…
There Will Be Joy
Every morning at 6 a.m. you can find me sitting cross legged and bleary eyed on the tan couch in my living room. Outside, the sun rises with reliable regularity, its pink morning glow filtered between the tulip trees in our backyard. I’ve been looking at the same view for more than ten years of…
He Will Be Strong in Your Weakness
When I took the stage, I was one hundred percent confident in my message. My new boots pinched a bit as I climbed the steps to the piano, but I was certain of the words I would speak, sure that the melodies wrapped around the truth of God’s goodness to us in suffering were the…
Is it Sinful to Live in the Past?
I was juggling housework and a very energetic two-year-old yesterday morning when the phone rang. My friend on the other end, also dealing with a little one, had called with a very specific question about suffering and sin. As I’ve mulled it over, I decided to address her question publicly (with her permission). She asked…
All Things New
I remember her determination. That’s what I remember the most. It was the first week of the new year, and my friend was, as my grandmother used to say, “bound and determined.” This year would be different. This year would be the year everything lined up straight, nothing stepping out of line. All her goals…